Hollywood’s Gone ‘Overboard’

I love movies. Love them. A movie fanatic. I’ve posted about movies here. About my love for them. My need. However, I am getting very tired of all the remakes. Or reboots. Or rip-offs, is what I prefer to call them.

It seems like I first noticed the … problem, when Hollywood decided to remake the Batman movies. Once Tim Burton was out-of-the-way, the entire series started over. Christian Bale is a great Knight. No doubt. It didn’t stop there. After three highly successful Spiderman movies, the reboot started. Same story. New actors. Different directors. They did the same for the Hulk. (The second version, the reboot — was way better, but that is so beside the point).

Stephen King . . .

I’ve read disturbing news — while I am a huge fan of Stephen King’s books — lets face it, the movie adaptations are horrendous. (With the exception of The Shawshank Redemption and Stand By Me). Did I hear that someone is remaking Cujo? Ah, yeah. I did. I’ll say it once. I’ll say it here. But it is clearly meant to be implied after each movie title. Got it. A Cujo remake, are you kidding me? And another Carrie is in the works. Didn’t Sissy Spacek nail the role? Um, yes. She did! And a remake of Pet Semetary. (One more time. Last time, promise — are you kidding me?)

Disney Does It Again . . .

I’ll admit I’ve seen most, like been Red Dawn, Fright Night, Halloween, Halloween II, (and an entire host of b-horror films) Total Recall … the list goes on, and on, and on. (I won’t even start ranting about simple, plain and simple re-releases . . . but in 3-D, like Finding Nemo, Jurassic Park, and up-coming The Lion King … but they are out there, and generating ticket sales. So who am I to complain? I’m still going to, complain that is, just asking who it is I think i am to complain, that’s all).

Anyway . . . there is no chance I can name all of the remakes on the way. Some sites I’ve visited boast over 75 titles between 2012 and 2014. There is no chance I can list all the remakes just over the last decade. In fact, I don’t want too. Far too upsetting. For me, anyway. But what’s coming? Take a look:

Coming Soon (Again) to a Theater Near You:

Flight of the Navigator
The Never Ending Story
War Games
Overboard (with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Lopez)
Three Men And A Baby
Dirty Dancing
Escape From New York
About Last Night
The Crow
Mad Max

The Great Gatsby

Superman (on it’s 3rd reboot)

. . . and another 60 or so titles

An Aside . . .

Quick side note — if you need fresh ideas, Hollywood, I write books — original stories — that might make awesome silver screen adaptations. Just saying.

As Always,

Phillip Tomasso

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